Sometimes simple practical things can make a big difference “I’m just feeling overwhelmed at the moment and any help with grocery shopping or maybe some pre-cooked meals would really help”.
IM NOT OK BUT I WILL BE PROFESSIONAL
It might be as simple as “All I really need is for you to listen to me without judgment” or “I think I might need professional help but I don’t know where to start, can you help?”. Think about the people in your network that have skills to meet your needs. practical, emotional, professional etc.). Reflect on the type of support that would be helpful for you right now (e.g. Whatever the reason for not reaching out, the irony is that in most cases, people do want to help. Perhaps you’re afraid that you’ll be rejected, judged, or perceived as needy if you ask for help. You may feel that other people are worse off than you, so your worries aren’t significant. If you trust the person you can start the conversation with “I’m not ok”. You don’t have to wait for the person to ask, (we are all pretty good at hiding our struggles so others may not have noticed). The sooner you admit how you really feel and reach out for help, the sooner you’ll be on the road to recovery. While this approach may have resulted in a lot of laughs for Monty Python fans, in reality, insisting you’re perfectly alright when you are struggling is likely to only lead to further decline. When he is gravely injured, he responds with “Tis but a scratch”, even when he has lost both arms he keeps fighting and insists “It’s just a flesh wound!”. Much like the sketch in the Monty Python classic ‘The Holy Grail’ when Arthur fights the Black Knight who continuously downplays his injuries. It takes courage to put up your hand and say “I need help”. Anyone can stick their head in the sand and say “I’m fine” when they’re not. Sharing that you are not okay can be quite daunting. It Takes Courage To Say That You Are Not Ok Those of us currently in stage 4 restrictions particularly, continue to struggle with many challenges including social isolation, potential job loss, homeschooling, financial and health worries, and feeling disconnected from family, loved ones, and our usual support networks, all of which can negatively impact our mental health. Given the many challenges that we’ve faced this year, it is understandable that people may be approaching the “R U OK?” conversation very differently. Taking time to reflect on these tips will ensure that you get the support that’s right for you. The alternative, being open, honest, and vulnerable is much more difficult than many of us would like to admit.
As a society, we are very good at putting on the “I’m fine” mask, even when just behind that smile we are genuinely struggling. “So, how are you?”, I guarantee that no matter how you really feel, most of us give the standard response of “Oh, I’m fine”.
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